Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Growing Up is Hard to Do

    Hello Old Friend[s]!

     I know it's been awhile. I'm here again, and [I promise] it won't be the last time. 

    Okay, okay, I'll stop quoting Francesca Battistelli, but seriously...hi everyone!! Yes, it's been far too long since I've posted on here. And seriously...I miss it! It feels like I am letting all 100 of you down! I know for  a fact that even though it says I have 100 followers, probably only 10% of you will actually read what I post.

Anyway, I'm just stopping by to say that I haven't quit blogging completely. I still intend to post on here - especially now with all the changes that are going on in my life. When I started this blog back in 2009 I was just entering my freshman year of high school. And now...I'm getting ready to go to college. What's up with that?

A lot has changed since then, obviously. I've grown up. I've learned lessons. I've made new friends, and have said goodbye to old ones. My life has turned around almost completely since I posted my first carefree blog post on here about my "love of American Girl dolls." I do still love my dolls, and I know that will never change. But I have recently learned that growing up requires maturity. In my mind, I am laying my foot on the proverbial brakes in life. 
"No!" I say. "I don't want to go college! I don't want to get a job! I don't want to give up my free time where I can just do my own thing!"

Ever since I started high school, I have been dreading this time in my life. Unlike the majority of my friends at the time, I didn't want to grow up! I was very happy with being a carefree thirteen year old who's biggest challenge in life was deciding what color rubber bands she wanted next time she went to the orthodontist to get her braces tightened.

The whole idea of college, and making decision on my own, and thinking about my future scares me. Even though I have known it was coming for years, I am mentally not ready for it.

It's not that I'm afraid of the future - I mean, why worry about things you can't change? It's not going to make you feel better by thinking about it every waking moment of your life. I guess what I'm most anxious about is changing who I am as a person. I love my life, and for years I have tried to live my life to its fullest. I didn't want to waste my childhood trying to grow up. While my friends were shopping for clothes for themselves, I was shopping for clothes for my dolls. When they were spending their time talking about the drama and trouble at school, I was busy reading about the trouble that super sleuth Nancy Drew was getting into after being locked in a closet.

See? I don't want to change what I love to do. I see how people have changed for the worse as they grew older. They changed who they were. I don't want to do that. I want people to still know me as who I've been for the past eighteen years. This is the time in life where you have to make the most decisions you'll probably every have to make. I'm ready for a challenge, but at the same time...

I just wish things were back to the way they used to be.

Ah...well, enough complaining. I'm sure you have much better things to do with your time than to listen to me ramble. I just thought I'd pop by and say hi to all you loyal followers. I have a few ideas of things I'd like to accomplish on here during the summer months. We'll see how that turns out. :p


April 2014

1 comment:

Laura Ashley said...

I know how you feel! It's like I'm stuck - too old for some stuff, too young for others. But hey, if God brings you to it, he'll get you through it! Oh, the title of this post was perfect, btw. :D
Laura Ashley